


Uchiha Mating Rituals

by kuchiki977



Series: Of Missed High-Fives and Time-Travel [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Courting Rituals, F/M, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Madara doesn't really know what he's doing, Madara is trying his best, Stupid and Aggressive Flirting Tactics: an Uchiha Love Story, Time Travel Fix-It, courting Naruto goes about as well as expected, cringey teenage Madara, no super-suave Uchiha Madara to be found here, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26166439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuchiki977/pseuds/kuchiki977
Summary: With every passing day, it feels more unfair that Naruto endeared herself to him when he was young.
Relationships: Uchiha Madara/Uzumaki Naruko, Uchiha Madara/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Of Missed High-Fives and Time-Travel [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874794
Comments: 83
Kudos: 734
Collections: Foxy fox 🦊





	1. And so it begins

It baffles the guards manning the front gate of the Uchiha settlement when Naruto waltzes right up to it and _knocks_. “Hello~? I’m here to see Madara!”

Everyone remembers her dramatic entrance on the battlefield and subsequent kidnapping of a member of the main family just a few days prior. However, Madara returned safely with his brother and never mentioned anything more of the incident. Despite a widespread desire to know how Izuna survived and what happened, no one is willing to question Madara on it. 

The guards shift into defensive stances, but all Naruto does is bounce on the balls of her feet. Unsure of how to proceed, no one moves for several minutes. Suddenly, one of the younger guards gets smacked up the backside of the head. His superior barks, “Go alert Madara-sama that we have an...intruder?”

Despite the uncertain tone of the order, the boy sprints away. When the main house and the council chamber yield no clan head, he tries the training grounds. Finally spotting Madara, he carefully edges toward him to avoid one of the many projectiles his leader is throwing. Out of breath, the boy gasps, “Madara-sama, we...have...an intruder...at the...front...gates.”

Immediately, Madara directs his attention away from the training dummy to him. He snarls, “Why didn’t anyone set off the alarm?!”

The boy suppresses the urge to shy away. “Well, um...she’s kind of just...standing there.”

 _She?_ Madara questions, “Who?”

“The same girl from the last battle.”

Madara perks up. While it does save him the effort of tracking her down, he had not expected Naruto to come to him. “What did she say?”

The undercurrent of excitement in the question shocks the boy. Madara catches an aborted eyebrow raise, but the boy hastily smooths out his expression. He answers, “She said she was here to see you.” 

It's great that she sought him out, but she was very eager to get away from him the last time they met, so he wonders what changed. He'll have to ask her about that. Regardless, she's finally here and he plans to keep it that way. Madara nods to the guard and orders, “Escort her to the main house.” 

Cutting off a disgruntled sigh, the boy answers, “Yes, sir.”

He sets off to the front gate as Madara makes his way to back his house. Though the house is immaculate, Madara surveys each room for possible clutter to straighten up; adjusting the angles of the furniture as he goes. Everything has to be perfect for Naruto's arrival. He would have preferred to take a bath, as well, but there isn't enough time. He settles down to wait in the sitting room so he doesn't pace in front of the door.

After an eternity passes, knocking at the front door finally announces her arrival. With a forced calm, he walks to the door and slides it open. The boy from earlier bows and beats a hasty retreat once Madara dismisses him with a wave of his hand. 

He steps aside to let Naruto in. Her hesitation belies her reluctance to enter, but she squares her shoulders and steps into the house. Madara slides the door shut as she silently shucks her sandals off. When they finally settle in the sitting room, Naruto cuts to the chase, “You should agree to the treaty with the Senju, ya know.”

Madara wasn’t foolish enough to assume this was a social call, but the order annoys him. Her blue eyes are a lot less threatening than the gold ones, but her gaze still pierces through him. Thankfully, the otherworldly glow from the other day is also gone, so Madara can meet her gaze head-on. He refuses, “No.”

Naruto doesn’t back down from eye-contact with an Uchiha. How foolish. She questions, “Why not?”

Calmly, he explains, “Too many Uchiha have been killed by them. No one will agree to an alliance.”

Far too naively, she retorts, “Have you asked?”

“I don’t need to, ” he answers.

Failing to pick up on the finality of his tone or his mounting irritation, Naruto argues, “Don’t you want the war to end?”

“Of course, I do,” Madara replies. He takes offense to her tone. She makes it sound as if he enjoyed burying family members.

“Well, you’re the leader, right? You can stop the fighting.”

Madara argues, “It’s not that simple. The council has a say, too.”

Naruto crosses her arms. “Fine, let me talk to 'em.”

“What? No! They won’t listen to what an outsider has to say, anyway!”

“You don’t know until you try, ya know! Hashirama already told me that the Senju will agree if the Uchiha will and it sounds like the council is the only thing standin' in the way of that. Right?”

So, that’s where she has been hiding. She had best refrain from mentioning that to anyone else in the settlement. Madara massages the bridge of his nose as he sighs, “Do as you like.”

It’s not like she’ll get anywhere.

~xXx~

Just as Madara predicted, the council refuses to meet with her. Naruto spends an entire week hounding the council chambers for an audience with them, but they ignore her. She only rests or eats when all of the council members have retreated back to their homes. When she isn’t stubbornly stationed outside the council building, she’s in one of the vacated houses on the edge of the settlement.

Izuna offered her a place to stay in their home, but she humbly refused. The knowledge that her refusal would have been much sharper if he had been the one offering still stings. Her eyes are the slightest bit less cold whenever they happen to meet, but it’s the only improvement in their relationship thus far.

In contrast, Naruto and Izuna get along great. Izuna initially approached her to thank her for saving his life, but she was far more jovial with him and they soon struck up a friendship. He regularly brings Naruto food and sits with her outside the council chambers. She may have a hard time getting the elders to listen to her, but she somehow managed to bring Izuna around to the idea of a treaty as they spent more time together. 

This turn of events does not bother Madara at all.

Settling on a nearby charred stump, Izuna asks, “What’s got you destroying all of the training dummies?”

Madara huffs and refuses to answer. He swaps out the burned remnants suspended by a handful of fibers for a fresh training dummy.

Undeterred, Izuna guesses, “Does it have something to do with Naruto?”

The kunai flies out of Madara’s hand and straight into the bullseye of the target on the dummy’s chest.

“Yeah, she doesn’t seem to like you very much,” Izuna’s voice takes on a teasing edge, “She always asks me how I’m doing, though. I think she might _like_ me—”

Three shuriken thunk into the dummies chest and head with deadly accuracy.

Izuna snorts, but continues, “Why don’t you try _talking_ to her?”

At Madara’s dubious look, Izuna wonders aloud, “Naruto doesn’t seem like the type to hold grudges, so what did you do to piss her off so bad?”

Madara would very much like to know as well. At this point, marriage is looking nigh impossible. A minute slump conveys his dismay and exasperation. 

Izuna hasn’t seen his brother take such a profound interest in a person since that damn Senju. In response to Madara’s thoughtful silence, Izuna asks, “Why do you like her so much, anyway?”

Naruto is beautiful, but so are plenty of other girls within the clan. Madara never spares any of them more than a passing glance, but just mentioning Naruto is enough to garner his attention. Izuna wonders if it’s her blue eyes and golden locks. Her looks are quite striking, even outside of the Uchiha. Or, maybe it’s her head-strong personality. Most men would be put off by it, but his brother has always enjoyed a challenge.

Reluctant to answer, Madara remains silent, but Izuna waits him out. Eventually, his patience is rewarded with an admission from his brother, “We have...met before.”

He makes it sound like they had a tryst in the forest. Then again, with Madara’s history, they might have. Dying to know more, Izuna prompts, “And?”

“It was only once, but she said we would meet again. I thought we parted on good terms, but...”

“Something happened?”

Madara nods. “I don’t know what, though.”

“Well, she can’t be _that_ mad at you if she saved me. Luckily for you, your favorite brother is here to help you,” Izuna says while rising from the stump. Ignoring Madara’s furrowed brow, he makes his way back to the council chamber.

~xXx~

“Help” consists of cajoling Naruto into dinner at their house. She clearly wants to escape the uncomfortable silence and Madara would like nothing more than for this to be over. They inhale their food to keep from talking and speed this awkward affair along, but Izuna has other plans. He asks Naruto, “Have you made any progress with the council?”

Izuna must know better than anyone how little success she has had, but Naruto humors him after swallowing a mouthful of rice, “No...they just shut me out.”

A glint in Izuna’s eye gives Madara a bad feeling. He hums, “It sounds like you need someone on the inside.”

Hopeful, Naruto prompts him to continue, “Yeah?”

“Unfortunately, I’m only an unofficial member of the council, so I don’t have enough weight to push your ideas,” Izuna grins at his brother before throwing him to the wolves, “but _Nii-san_ should be able to talk some sense into them!”

Naruto shoots Madara a dubious look, but surprises him with a question, “Will you help me?”

It’s the first time she has voluntarily spoken to him since she sought him out a week ago. They have made eye-contact outside the council chamber several times, but she always focuses on the other council members trying to escape from her. Clearly, she doesn’t want his help, but she begrudgingly accepts that she needs it.

Madara stops eating to think. Helping her with this might get him back into her good graces. But, could he really prioritize her wishes over the clan’s? He shouldn’t. Then again, is wanting a war to end truly a selfish desire? Inherently, no, but she might have an ulterior motive. Based on what he knows of her, he doubts she has ill intentions, but he needs more information to make a sound judgement. So, he asks, “Why do you want this war to end? You’re not even involved in it.”

Unprepared for the question, Naruto flounders. “W-well, war is bad, isn’t it?”

“‘War is bad’ isn’t a sufficient explanation for soldiers to ally with enemies they are born and raised to hate,” he patiently replies.

Naruto chews on that for a moment. She opens her mouth to reply, but seems to think better of it. 

It occurs to Madara that Naruto might not be able to understand a war mindset. Madara isn't sure about Naruto's situation, but as far as he's aware, all Uzumaki live in Uzushiogakure and the island is well-protected by the deadly whirlpools surrounding it. Thus, they remain uninvolved in any large-scale skirmishes.

“The council isn’t going to listen to someone who doesn’t have any experience in war,” Madara tries to let her down easy, but his gentle tone has the opposite effect.

Incensed, Naruto leans toward him menacingly and growls, “Oh, I have experience all right—”

She cuts the sentence off, but Madara is insanely curious what else she was going to say. To forcibly calm down, she releases a ragged exhale through her nose. Without breaking eye-contact, Naruto settles back onto her floor-pillow. The intensity of her glare exhilarates Madara, but Izuna chooses that moment to remind them that they aren’t alone. Caught between amused and concerned, his brother clears his throat and asks him, “So, will you help Naruto?”

Regardless of whatever that was just now, he can’t put forward her request in good faith. The good of the clan comes first and they will all rest easier once the Senju are exterminated. “No.”

~xXx~

_Be careful what you wish for._

Madara truly understands the wisdom of that saying now. Before, he wanted Naruto’s undivided attention. Now that he has it, he misses being able to go anywhere alone.

Naruto’s persistence is impressive. Rather than give up entirely after numerous failures, she merely changed her approach. Thanks to Izuna, she has gotten it into her head that if none of the elders will hear what she has to say, she has to send a representative on her behalf. Thanks to Izuna once again, Madara has been selected for the task.

Since he does not share her views, she has opted to spend every waking moment trying to convince him. Eating, training, patrol—everything has become a group activity and an opportunity for discussion. Naruto was reluctant to enter the main house in the beginning, but Izuna, demon that he is, granted her entrance to Madara’s last sanctuary. Now, the only respite he has from her is when he bathes or sleeps. He isn’t sure how much longer that will last, either. 

He might not mind it as much if she talked about anything other than agreeing to an alliance with Hashirama. Naruto is still a mystery for the most part because she clumsily dodges any attempt Madara makes to get to know her. “Where were you raised?”

“Does it matter?”

“What’s your favorite food?”

“You’ve never heard of it.”

“What do you like to do?”

“Sign treaties. You should try it, ya know.”

It goes on like this for about a month. Everyone is half-mad from being cooped up in the settlement for that long, but Naruto ardently gets in the way of any strategy meetings he tries to have. 

One day, Madara decides enough is enough when Naruto comes to wake him up and they have their usual tug-of-war with his futon cover. He suddenly lets go just as she yanks particularly hard on the blanket and she falls on her butt. His actions earn him a vicious glare, but he couldn’t care less. Madara rises to a sitting position and gives her an ultimatum, “Give me one _practical_ reason why I should push for the treaty,” he holds up a hand to stop her when she opens her mouth, “that I have not heard before, and I will seriously consider your request.”

Naruto pauses to think and Madara patiently waits. This is her last chance before he tunes out all talk of treaties from this point forward, and she knows it. Finally, she looks him in the eye and says, “If you sign the treaty now, you’ll be equals with Hashirama. That’s better than being forced to sign it because you don’t have anyone left to help you fight, isn’t it?”

Madara’s eyebrows approach his hairline. That...is actually a fair point. Contrary to what he thought, Naruto must have been taking stock of their resources. He would sooner bite his own tongue off than admit it aloud, but clan morale has been rather low for a while now. Uchiha numbers continue to dwindle and if Madara hadn’t called for a retreat the day Izuna almost died, their combat capabilities would have suffered a major blow. 

Naruto refuses to answer any questions about the Senju camp, so Madara is unsure of how many Uchiha have been captured, how many are dead, or how many able-bodied fighters the Senju have. It’s unbelievable that Tobirama even let her leave their camp, but Madara has a feeling that Hashirama allowed it in good faith. Unfortunately, Naruto takes that act of trust very seriously. She was particularly conflicted when Madara mentioned a possible rescue operation, but she held her ground. Without knowing how many Uchiha might be trapped, a rescue mission could quickly turn into a suicide mission, so he and his advisors momentarily set aside the plan.

Between the fact that she could have easily lied to manipulate him before now and the pitiful state of the Uchiha troops, Madara finds himself believing her implication that the Senju have the advantage. If they were to sign a treaty before Hashirama became aware of that fact, Madara could feign that they were on equal footing to avoid paying reparations and the like.

Anxious movement in his periphery draws Madara’s attention. Naruto’s back is taut as she grips his blanket and waits for the verdict. Madara pretends to think about it some more before she shouts, “So!?”

He sighs good-naturedly, “I suppose I could mention it to the council…”

For the first time since their reunion, Naruto graces him with a bright smile. In his shock, Naruto catches him by surprise and tackles him back onto the futon. Her embrace distracts him while a flood of gratitude flows directly into his ear, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

The last time they embraced, Madara hadn’t been fully able to appreciate it. As a teenager, he’s quite aware of the softness pressing down onto his chest and how close her mouth is to his ear. However, her hips are dangerously close to his and he would rather avoid an awkward moment now that she finally softened up to him. Suppressing a shiver, Madara turns his face as far away as he can from hers and puts as much distance as possible between their hips. The awkward shuffling catches Naruto’s attention and she backs off enough to loom over him.

She gives his flushed face a long look before screwing her face up. “A hug made you that angry?”

Madara bites back a sigh. He has his work cut out for him.

~xXx~

The elders are initially reluctant to consent to the treaty, but they give in when Madara reminds them that they’re his advisors and asking for their approval is nothing more than a courtesy. They agree to save face, but he will probably pay for that later.

That same week, he and Hashirama meet to discuss the terms of the treaty. A wide smile fights to emerge from the shaky professional mask Hashirama has donned at what can only be Tobirama’s insistence. Izuna and Tobirama trade vicious glares, but are otherwise there as support and possible back-up. Once everything is in order, they part ways with an agreement to further discuss the specifics of the village they’re finally going to build together.

Hashirama gripes about the name, but he doesn’t come up with anything better than “Konohagakure.” It's doubly satisfying when Naruto approves of it. In fact, she’s quite pleased with Madara these days. He might finally be able to call her a friend.

~xXx~

The council summons him to their new chambers in Konoha after everyone has settled in. They beat around the bush for a half hour before stating their actual purpose for the meeting, “We have found a suitable bride for you.”

Caught up in the groundbreaking history they're making, Madara completely forgot about the arrangement he agreed to. Mistaking his silence as an invitation to continue, one of the council members says, “Naturally, she’s an Uchiha from a well-off family—”

Madara argues, “I already have someone in mind.”

Apparently, he had been more obvious than he thought, because they immediately shoot his idea down, “The Uzumaki girl will taint the main family’s bloodline.”

“If anything, she’ll _improve_ it,” he defends. 

“What could an Uzumaki possibly have to offer?”

“You would be hard-pressed to find something she doesn’t offer. Lineage, raw strength, superlative chakra—surely, you must have seen us training together,” Madara insists. The council chews on that while he goes for the kill, “Furthermore, the Uzumaki are known for their large families, aren’t they?”

Between the possibility of having heirs to spare and Madara’s adamance that no one else will be acceptable, the council of elders reluctantly concede. The only one left to convince is Naruto. They’ve been getting along great lately. Everything will be fine.


	2. Uchiha"Love Guru" Izuna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At any given moment, Madara is five seconds away from yelling, “Just like me back already, damn it!” Unfortunately, Izuna advises against it.

**~Attempt #1~**

Years ago, before Madara’s mother died, Tajima once tried to impart some romantic advice upon a prepubescent Madara. Confident that he too would have his bride chosen for him, Madara had only listened with half an ear when his father told the tale of how Kanna grew to love him after their arranged marriage. Now that a relevant situation has finally come to pass, Madara only remembers bits and pieces of what might have been priceless knowledge. The main takeaway he got from the conversation is that women prefer subtlety. 

Naruto agrees to meet him in the field near the Uchiha district readily enough. They have gotten into the habit of training together ever since she started shadowing him and she clearly expects an evening spar based on her attire. She has taken to wearing less ostentatious clothing outside of missions after a significant amount of prodding from him and Izuna, but her signature orange and black jacket stands out in the moonlight as she makes her way toward him.

She waves and greets, “Hey, Mada—”

“TSUKI GA KIREI DESU NE,” he eloquently blurts out. The confession was said with much less finesse than Madara envisioned, but it’s too late to take it back now. He resists the urge to cringe as she halts her approach. 

Slowly lowering her hand, Naruto calls out, “Uh...what?”

Since words have failed him, Madara points a stiff hand at the moon in explanation. Naruto casts a cursory glance at the moon before looking back at him. “Yeah...it’s okay, I guess?”

Unable to deal with the embarrassment, Madara changes the topic, “Let’s just spar!”

He pivots on his heel and stiffly stalks toward the recently erected training grounds. Naruto jogs to catch up with him. She asks, “Are ya sure you’re feelin’ up to it? Your face is really red, ya know.”

“I’m fine,” Madara snarls to hide his shame. He may never live this down.

Naruto holds her hands up and replies, “Okay, okay. Jeez, what’s got you so bent out of shape?”

~xXx~

It was foolish to simply go in blind. Madara should have prepared better. What does one do when confronted with a conundrum outside their area of expertise? Consult an expert.

On some level, Madara always remembered that Naruto was coming back for him, so he never bothered with women. Clearly, some practice would have benefited him, but luckily Izuna had no such subconscious impediment. His brother has far more experience in romance, so Madara trusts him and takes his advice at face-value.

  
  
  


**~Attempt #2~**

During a break in training, Madara casually remarks, “The Uchiha clan is looking for new members.”

Sitting beside him on the grass, Naruto turns to him and blinks. “Okay…?”

When he doesn’t immediately follow up with a response, she tips her head back to take a swig from her canteen. Madara takes a deep breath to prepare himself. Before he can talk himself out of it, he grasps her butt and forces out, “You look...fertile...”

Naruto chokes on her water and slaps away his hand. In between coughs, she squawks, “What?!”

The aghast look on her face is discouraging, but Izuna wouldn’t steer him wrong. Madara digs his heels in and continues, “Your hips...are wide...” 

“You callin’ me fat?!”

Madara quickly denies, “What? No! I just meant—”

“I’m in shape enough to kick your ass, ya know!”

Brow furrowed, Madara argues, “To a draw, perhaps. But, that’s not what I meant—”

“That does it! Break is over,” she declares before tossing her empty canteen aside and launching herself at him.

~xXx~

Izuna guffaws, “You actually tried that?! I was kidding!”

Madara’s scowl deepens. He gets up from their dinner table to take his leave, but Izuna grabs his sleeve. “Nii-san, I’m sorry. I genuinely thought you would realize it was a joke. As an apology, I’ll give you real advice.”

He only sits back down because of the mild contrition in Izuna’s tone and the undeniable fact that his advice is essential. Madara isn’t happy about it, though. He huffs irritably and crosses his arms. 

Izuna takes a sip of his tea and hums. “So, the subtle approach and the crudely straightforward approach both failed, huh? I guess we’ll just have to try everything in between until we find one Naruto won’t misunderstand.”

At Madara’s grimace, Izuna grins. “Don’t worry! I have _lots_ of ideas!”

“They had best be serious ideas,” Madara warns with narrowed eyes.

“Of course, they are! Have I ever steered you wrong?”

**~Attempt #3~**

The instructions were simple: hand Naruto the flowers, grab her by the shoulders, look deep into her eyes, and smile. Madara follows Izuna’s instructions to the letter, but he never mentioned what to do after that. 

Tense seconds pass as they stand frozen. The first sign that something is amiss is when Naruto shrinks back instead of swooning like she’s supposed to. The stiff set of her shoulders is dismaying, as well. Finally, the upward quirk of his lips droops when she states, “Genjutsu doesn’t work on me, ya know.”

Madara backs off and sighs, “I wasn’t trying to trap you in a genjutsu.”

“Then why is your Sharingan activated,” Naruto argues while taking a distrustful whiff of her bouquet. 

Madara blinks. He hadn’t even noticed. How embarrassing. “It just happens sometimes.”

“I’ve never heard—”

Eager to avoid explaining his faux pas, Madara cuts her off, “Weren’t you running late for a meeting?”

“Oh crap, I forgot! Tobirama is gonna be so mad,” she exclaims and starts to unzip her pack. Naruto stops and looks at Madara. She hands him back the bouquet and requests, “Hold onto these for me. I’ll come back to get them after the meeting.”

Well, at least she kind of accepted the present before sprinting in the opposite direction.

~xXx~

“Oof. You involuntarily activated your Sharingan? How stressed out were you?”

Madara says nothing as he leans his forehead against his thread fingers. 

“Maybe a lack of atmosphere is the problem,” Izuna suggests while munching on some senbei. “Try taking her to a place that has sentimental value to you two. Women love that kind of thing.”

Madara lifts his head to stare at the vase of flowers on the table between them and sighs.

  
  


**~Attempt #4~**

Initially, Naruto was a bit hesitant to accept Madara’s invitation for a day-trip, but she relented when he promised there would be food involved. The onigiri weigh down his pack as they hike through the forest, but the effort will be worth it when Naruto finally reciprocates his affections. 

The outskirts of the old Uchiha territory aren’t that far from Konoha. It would have taken them less than an hour to get here if they had hopped between the trees, but Izuna insisted they walk to set the mood. By the time they reach their destination, the afternoon sun beats down on them and the frequency of Naruto’s complaints has increased dramatically. It’s a relief when the clearing where he first met her comes into view. He announces with relish, “We’re here.”

Naruto throws her hands up and shouts, “Finally! Where is ‘here,’ by the way?”

Madara ceases lowering his pack off his back to look at her. He reminds, “This is the place where we first met.” 

Despite her muddled expression, Naruto does him the courtesy of giving the worn path and surrounding trees a thorough overview. She bluntly states, “Uhh...I’ve never been here, ya know. Maybe you’re thinkin’ of somebody else?”

No. No, he isn’t. 

Technically, Naruto is correct. She has never been here—as she is now. He had hoped that the location might strike some sort of chord anyway, but no such luck it would seem. The thought of time travel boggles his mind most days. It was foolish to expect it to somehow work to his advantage.

Madara takes a deep breath to calm himself. They could still go to the battlefield or the cave where they had their reunion, but he has a feeling that it won’t have the same effect. Naruto isn’t particularly attached to anywhere other than Konoha as a whole. She has places she frequents—her apartment, the Uchiha district, the Senju district, the council building—but nowhere that would evoke the kind of emotional response Izuna alluded to. With a sigh, Madara slips his pack off and begins to rifle through it for the food he promised.

Just as his hand grasps the bag of onigiri, Naruto says, “I’ve never been here before, but I _have_ seen those around.”

The bag easily slides out of his pack as Madara asks, “You’ve seen what?”

Naruto points. “That. Had one stuck to my back for a while, ya know. It wouldn’t come off no matter what I did.”

“I can sympathize with that feeling quite well. I had a similar experience not too long ago,” Madara trails off as he finally lifts his gaze to where Naruto points. The smirk on his face freezes in place as he makes eye-contact with some kind of bear. Strangely, it seems comfortable standing on two legs. The dark muzzle and red eyes contrast starkly with its pure white coat. Madara has never seen this kind of creature in all of the time he has spent in the woods and that is concerning in itself. Older cousins told him stories about a monster in the woods when he was a child, but he always assumed they were just trying to scare him for a laugh.

“Really? I don’t remember anything...Hey! Ya better not be talkin’ ‘bout me!” Naruto squawks as the colossal beast approaches them at a sedate pace, growling low all the while. A thick branch snaps like a twig underneath its foot, so Madara throws a kunai at it to gauge its threat level. It swats the kunai into the ground like an annoying gnat. 

Naruto grabs his arm just as he’s about to let loose a _Katon_ and admonishes, “What’s the matter with you?! We can just outrun it!”

Puffing out some smoke, Madara coughs and argues, “You really think it will just let prey get away?”

Naruto gasps. “Onbaa don't eat people, ya know!”

The onbaa takes a vicious swing at them. If they hadn’t jumped out of the way, Madara is certain those claws would have decapitated them both. He yells,“Are you sure about that!?”

Faced with a decision, the onbaa selects Madara to pursue. As he dodges slashes and grabs for him, Naruto yells over the creature’s snarling, “Well, no...but the one I raised never tried to take a bite out of me!”

“What about when it matured!?” Madara hollers as he jumps into a tree to put some distance between him and the predator. To his amazement, the onbaa uproots the tree he jumped to and throws it at him when he jumps to another.

Naruto admits, “He got a little violent...”

Ducking below another tree projectile, Madara hisses, “Naruto!”

Stomping her foot and crossing her arms, Naruto shouts, “Okay! A lot violent! Happy?!”

Equally annoyed, Madara responds, “Do I look like I’m happy?! If you’re so against hurting it, then make a decent amount of kage bunshin to cover our escape!”

“Fine!” she huffs before enough clones to fill the main street of Konoha appear in a puff of smoke.

~xXx~

“Her brilliant idea after that was to just heap enough clones on it until it couldn’t move,” Madara sighs.

Izuna hums thoughtfully, “Not the most refined idea, but effective enough. I’m more interested in how our scaredy-cat cousin saw an ‘onbaa’ and lived to tell the tale. I thought he just wanted attention, but now I’m curious since it gave you so much trouble.”

“I wouldn’t have had any trouble getting it to back off if _someone_ hadn’t insisted I leave my gunbai—”

“Nii-san, I keep telling you: it’s not normal to bring weapons on an outing with a girl.” In response to Madara’s dubious grumbling, Izuna retorts, “Even Naruto would think that’s odd, ya know!”

Madara’s lips tighten as his brother guffaws. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Izuna’s chortles die down with a calm exhale. He advises, “Ah, you never appreciate my comedy. I bet it’s because you’re not as good with words. Speaking of, maybe we should try a different tactic because talking has not done you any favors with Naruto. In fact, do you two do anything other than argue?”

“We talk,” Madara replies with a scowl.

“In between punches, maybe,” Izuna sasses.

With a sigh, Madara asks, “What do you have in mind?”

**~Attempt #5~**

A falcon soars high in the sky. Eyes locked on target, it tucks its wings and lowers into a dive. Wind whips around its streamlined body as it plunges downward. The mark's gold pelt looks minuscule as it plods along on the ground below. In just a few short seconds, the falcon closes the distance and spreads its wings to slow its approach. The glabrous rat squawks in fright and dodges the falcon’s talons when it tries to land.

The giant rodent shrieks at the falcon. Like most prey animals, this one is slow to notice key details. Namely, the load attached to the falcon’s leg. Gold fur swishes as it attempts to flee, but the falcon refuses to let the mission go unfinished. After a brief chase through the open burrow and some pathetic attempts to drive the falcon away with soft paws, the rat finally sees the leg pouch and cautiously approaches to inspect it. 

The falcon has been trained better than to peck, but after all of the vexation, it considers it. Snatching the burden off of the bird’s leg, the bald rat paws the white leaf open. Just as the rat’s face contorts, the falcon spreads its wings and takes to the sky. With the mission accomplished, it returns to its nest among the rats with black pelts.

~xXx~

“I thought I’d find you here. I take it that the love poetry didn’t work out,” Izuna says conversationally while Madara stares vacantly at the side of the mew. One of the younger falcons sits on his shoulder. It buries its beak deep into his dark mane and tugs on a lock of hair, hard. Madara doesn’t even react.

Izuna leans against a tree and continues the one-sided conversation, “Did you use calligraphy like I told you to?”

Madara shakily lifts a crumpled paper and holds it out to Izuna. Delicately pulling the parchment out of his brother’s grasp, Izuna reads the hasty scrawl. Ah, this must be Naruto’s reply. Izuna comments, “Perhaps, it was too much to expect a girl like Naruto to appreciate the written word. Look on the bright side: you were spared her making fun of your haiku since she couldn’t read it! I know I—”

A vicious glare from Madara prompts Izuna to change topics, “Anyway, it’s not like you two fighting is anything new. Just try to explain—”

His brother sends him a withering look and Izuna sighs. “Listening is not her specialty, I grant you, but at least she didn’t think your ‘threat letter’ was enough reason to avoid you. She even invited you out!”

“She challenged me to a duel,” Madara corrects with a snarl.

“How different is a duel from an outing, really? You meet at a predetermined location, you enjoy yourself or have a terrible time, and each party has a different interpretation of the experience once it’s over.”

Madara groans as the falcon on his shoulder attempts to give him a bald spot once more.

**~Attempt #6~**

Naruto approaches the council building just as Madara exits. She calls out, “Madara, let’s go spar!”

After that grievously monotonous meeting, he would like nothing more than to take her up on the offer. Unfortunately, he must refuse, “Another time. Keiko-san and I have some matters to discuss.”

Hastily bowing to Hyūga Keiko in greeting, Naruto replies, “Oh...sure! I’ll seeya later, then!”

~xXx~

“Hey, Madara—”

He holds up a hand and cuts her off, “Give me a moment.”

Naruto agitatedly bounces on her feet while Madara pretends to consider the flowers in front of him. To aggravate her further, he reaches a hand out toward the spread before pausing and drawing it back to his side. By the time he finally tells the clerk running the Yamanaka flower stall to make a bouquet of the white chrysanthemums, Naruto vibrates in irritation. It’s a struggle to keep the grin off his face as he turns to face her. “Now then, what did you need?”

Momentarily forgetting why she followed him to the stall in the first place, she asks, “Why are _you_ buying flowers?”

“I hear women enjoy them as a present. Am I wrong?”

“You’re not wrong, but...it’s pretty weird seein' you actually talk to other people and give ‘em presents, ya know?”

Since the plan is apparently working, Madara chooses to ignore the unintentional slight that sometimes sneaks into Naruto’s speech. Instead, he replies, “Maybe I just found someone to add to the _select few_ people I regularly talk to.”

She chews on that a moment before responding, “Okay...anyway, what I wanted to ask you about was—”

~xXx~

“Madara! Where have...you...” Naruto’s sentence trails off as she comes upon the Uchiha in question surrounded by a gaggle of girls. It’s not an unusual occurrence for an Uchiha, but it is pretty unusual for Madara to tolerate it. He even laughs at something one of the girls said.

It’s great that he’s finally making more friends. It goes without saying that he won’t have as much time to spend with her anymore, but that’s fine. She isn’t supposed to be here, anyway. Madara happens to catch sight of her and she directs a tight smile at him. Naruto waves as she takes her leave from the Uchiha district.

~xXx~

Shooting out of his seat, a confused Izuna questions, “It sounds like making her jealous was working! Why stop now?”

“I have my reasons,” Madara answers with an air of finality.

Eyes narrowed, Izuna posits, “You caved because you couldn’t handle those doe-eyes looking even the tiniest bit sad, didn't you?”

Madara’s answering scoff isn’t convincing in the slightest. Izuna sighs as he sinks back down to the dining room table. “Fine, fine. We can fall back on the jealousy route if my next idea doesn’t work.”

**~Attempt #7~**

Guilt and satisfaction war within Madara when Naruto eagerly accepts his invitation after weeks of being “too busy” to spend time with her. He reasons that everything will even out once she accepts what is between them. She can have as much attention as she wants, then.

According to Izuna, a dazzling display of skill might finally make her realize how suitable of a partner Madara is. Generally, he refrains from using the more devastating fire ninjutsu within the confines of the village and in its immediate surroundings in the interest of safety. Thus, Madara brings Naruto far enough away that he doesn’t need to concern himself with the destruction of property or stray civilians wandering into the line of fire.

Their spar progresses normally until Madara surprises Naruto with _Katon: Gōka Mekkyaku_. She manages to dodge most of it, but shrieks as her clothes catch fire. Faster than he has ever seen her move, she dives into the river Madara and Hashirama used to skip stones on. The first thing Naruto does when her head resurfaces is hiss, “ _Did you see?_ ”

Much to his disappointment, his Sharingan wasn't activated, so he didn’t even catch a glimpse. He sighs, “No, but it would be fine even if I did—”

“ _What_ would be _fine_ about that, you idiot,” she snarls. Madara reasons it would probably be a bad time to mention that he broke the Uchiha clan record for scale and blast radius of a fire technique (previously set and broken by him on three occasions) after Naruto whips a rock at his head. On the bright side, that hideous orange and black jacket of hers may have finally been taken care of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsuki ga kirei desu ne: Lit. "The moon is beautiful." It's a subtle, old-fashioned way to convey romantic love in Japanese.


	3. Homestretch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madara does some good(?) with some help(?) from Hashirama before taking matters into his own hands.

Madara wanted to keep the knowledge of his romantic ineptitude limited to family, but Hashirama has managed to close the deal with an Uzumaki woman already. Mito and Naruto couldn’t be more different, but Hashirama must have some insight on their clan after taking a wife from it. Thus, Madara corners Hashirama after a council meeting. Sidling up to his friend’s side, he whispers, “I have something I need to talk to you about. When are you next available?”

In a normal speaking voice, Hashirama replies, “How about now? We can have dinner at—”

“All right, all right! Wherever you want! Just keep it down,” Madara hisses, “I don’t want any...busybodies to tag along.”

“Oh...you got it!” Hashirama overtly winks and Madara wonders how the war with Senju lasted as long as it did. It would have been impossible to recover from a defeat, to say the least. Heaving a sigh, Madara herds Hashirama out the door of the council chambers before Tobirama can invite himself along.

~xXx~

Once Hashirama stops laughing at Madara’s expense, he wheezes, “You’re determined. I’ll give you that.”

Madara levels a dark look at him. His patience is already thin from all of Hashirama’s prodding for an explanation of why he wants to know how he got Mito to marry him. Naturally, Madara’s clipped, evasive answer wasn’t enough for him, so Hashirama refused to answer until he got the full story of Madara’s efforts with Naruto. Hashirama’s mirth at his failures is not at all appreciated and the only thing keeping Madara from storming out of the restaurant is the answer that Hashirama owes him. 

“Anyway, Mito and I were arranged to be married,” says Hashirama with a casual sip from his cup.

Unsurprisingly, the answer leaves much to be desired. Madara grits out, “I assumed as much when you wouldn’t shut up about how pretty she was when you saw her _for the first time_ at your wedding. What I _want_ to know is how you got her to agree _in the first place_.”

“Ahh. In that case, I asked her parents for permission. Technically, Tobirama told me to ask, but I don’t regret it.”

The thought had occurred to him before, but Madara rejected the idea because Naruto would be unlikely to cooperate if her parents forced her into an arranged marriage. Thoughtfully, he asks, “Mito just accepted that?”

“I haven’t heard any complaints about it.”

Madara doesn’t have many options left to pick from. He supposes it’s worth a shot. 

**~Attempt #8~**

The plan immediately hits a snag when Madara asks to talk to Naruto’s parents. She gives him an odd look before bluntly stating, “I don’t have any parents, ya know.”

Once again, it comes back to haunt him that she doggedly refused to allow him to get to know her. A lack of parents is certainly something that would come up early into an acquaintance. The flat tone in which she said it indicates that this isn’t a recent development, but now he’s trapped in a distinctly awkward conversation. “Oh...I’m sorry for your loss...”

The unreadable look she sends his way confounds him for the rest of the week.

~xXx~

A second chance to execute the plan presents itself when Hashirama slyly mentions that Konoha should send a delegate to Uzushiogakure at a village council meeting. Supposedly, it would be a routine ambassador visit, but a founder of the village should be present to demonstrate how seriously they take the alliance. The other members do a poor job of concealing their gapes when Madara volunteers.

~xXx~

Arriving in Uzushiogakure after the perilous journey he made to get here feels anticlimactic. Madara supposes the laid-back atmosphere of the quaint ninja village could be used to lure an enemy into a false sense of security, but it has the opposite effect on him. He can’t relax at all due to the paranoia.

After being forced to participate in one superfluous conversation after another, Madara is finally rewarded with a seat next to the Uzumaki clan leader at the banquet held in Konoha’s honor. He remarks, “Your village is impressive, Uzumaki-sama.”

The laugh lines on Uzumaki Ashina’s elderly face crinkle as he smiles. “That is quite the compliment from you, Uchiha-sama.”

Glad that he doesn’t seem to harbor any ill will toward the clan that was locked in a grisly war with his sister clan, Madara continues, “Between the food and hospitality, it’s a wonder anyone would ever want to leave.”

Ashina chuckles, “Yes, Mito was quite reluctant to leave. Everyone is looking forward to her next visit home.”

Keeping his tone casual, Madara posits, “What about Naruto?”

Confused, Ashina questions, “Naruto?”

Madara directs his full attention to the elderly clan leader. He elaborates, “Uzumaki Naruto. A kunoichi about my age that personally oversaw the establishment of Konohagakure. Her persistence is legendary.”

If some fondness happens to leak into his tone, so be it.

Ashina thoughtfully strokes his beard. “Really now? She certainly sounds like an Uzumaki, but no one named ‘Naruto’ has ever lived on this island.”

Struggling to conceal his shock, Madara asks, “Pardon?”

“The Uzumaki clan is quite large and I have only been present for the birth of every member of the main family, but I should think that such a unique name would have been quite well-known around the island—doubly-so if she left.”

Madara has no idea how to respond to that, so Ashina fills the silence once more with a cold statement, “I would very much like to meet this ‘ _Uzumaki_ Naruto.’”

~xXx~

It doesn’t matter to Madara whether or not Naruto is an Uzumaki, but quite a lot of other people care. He immensely regrets his slip of the tongue when Ashina joins him on the return trip to Konoha. 

The Uzumaki escort accompanying them is much more frigid than jolly and Madara considers trying to send a warning to Naruto before they reach the village, but an opportunity to do so never presents itself. Killing them isn’t an option, either. Not only will it jeopardize Konoha and the Uchiha, but he doubts Naruto would appreciate it if he slaughtered possible relatives. 

Hashirama waits for them at the village gates. His open expression indicates that Ashina neglected to tell him the underlying intention for this sudden visit. Oblivious as always, Hashirama doesn’t catch the message Madara attempts to relay to him through sign language. With a quiet sigh, Madara accepts that all he can do is be present to do some measure of damage control when Hashirama offers to have Naruto meet them at the council chambers. 

The only way this could possibly get worse is if the Uchiha elders caught wind of it.

~xXx~

Thankfully, word has yet to reach the elders that Naruto’s heritage is in question, but the guilt when she unsuspectingly walks into the room and freezes is tough to fight down. The iron-clad Uzumaki sit in formation as they stare Naruto down. The tense silence drags on until Ashina stands and greets, “ _Uzumaki_ Naruto, I presume?”

“Y-yeah…”

Ashina bows and introduces himself, “Uzumaki Ashina. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Naruto stiffly bows and replies, “Same here...”

“We were quite surprised to hear of an Uzumaki that hasn’t ever lived in Uzushio. You wouldn’t mind if we conducted a genealogical test, would you?”

“W-well, actually—”

With a hand gesture from Ashina, one of his grandchildren approaches Naruto with a lead box. The others all snap to attention when Madara twitches. Heaving a deep exhale out his nose to calm himself, Madara settles back into his sitting position as Naruto directs a nervous glance at him and Hashirama. Madara shares a pointed look with Hashirama while Ashina’s grandson removes a syringe from the box. The boy inserts the needle into Naruto’s arm none too gently and Madara grinds his teeth.

Once the boy has enough blood, he places the syringe atop a seal and pointedly turns away from Madara. Everyone waits with bated breath as the boy cycles through a flurry of hand seals. The syringe rattles a bit before giving off a strange light. Ashina’s grandson gapes at him before turning to gape at Naruto. The elderly Uzumaki’s remark finally breaks the anxious silence, “Well I’ll be...Welcome to the clan, Naruto-chan...”

~xXx~

The atmosphere is distinctly uncomfortable between the Uzumaki clansmen. It perplexes Madara how the overly friendly Naruto restrains the urge familiarize herself with extended family members that are very interested in getting to know her. She spends the first few days of their visit to Konoha dodging them before Madara draws the line at her trying to hide in his room. 

Naruto whines as Madara pushes her out into the hallway, “Come onnnnn, don’t be so stingy, Madara! It’ll just be for a little bit, ya know!”

Must she fight his attempts to properly court her at every turn? He firmly shuts the door behind him as he sighs, “Why don’t you just try talking to them? You usually love doing that. It’s tough to get you to stop at times.”

Naruto must be frazzled if she doesn’t take the bait. Instead, she grumbles, “I can’t...”

She says that, but she clearly wants to. “Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

Madara groans at her stubbornness before an idea comes to him. “It’s really a shame that you can’t spare even an afternoon of your time for them. They had some very delicious food in Uzushio.” Holding back a chuckle at Naruto’s suddenly attentive gaze, he continues, “I think it was very similar to that dish you mentioned...”

“Ramen?!”

“Is that what it was called? It’s a shame that you weren’t there to confirm it for yourself, but I’m sure they wouldn’t be opposed to making it for you if asked…” Uzushio cuisine is most certainly not what Naruto is expecting, but he takes the win as she races down the stairs before Madara has even finished the sentence.

~xXx~

Despite their lack of knowledge concerning ramen, Ashina and his grandchildren manage to maintain Naruto’s attention throughout their stay. If not for her hair, one would never know that she isn’t a member of the Uzumaki main branch with how comfortable she acts with them. In a matter of days, she freely calls the clan head “Jii-chan” and is on a first-name basis with her “cousins.” When the time comes for her kinsmen to return to their island, they tell her that they expect her on Mito’s next visit and to come hungry. The blubbering mess that is Naruto sobs an agreement as she sends them off. Each departing hug she gives lasts a bit longer than appropriate, but none of them seem to mind. 

Naruto exuberantly waves farewell with both arms as Mito politely waves beside her. The two grew close as Naruto was brought into the fold of the Uzumaki. Mito comforts her when their relatives disappear from view. The sight is a relief. Madara has no doubt that Naruto would go with them if she wasn’t so attached to Konoha. Mito’s presence is more insurance that she won’t leave.

**~Attempt #9~**

Out of patience with these games, Madara decides to give the direct approach another try. He slaps the marriage contract on the table. While maintaining eye-contact, he orders, “Marry me.”

Naruto freezes. Some crumbs fall from the corner of her mouth. The arm outstretched toward the bowl of senbei on the table slowly retracts and her relaxed posture grows taut. Before she can force any words out, Madara gestures to the document. “Look at all of these benefits I can provide. You won’t want for anything. You don’t even need a dowry.”

Her eyes dart away from him as she starts gathering her scattered belongings. She roughly shoves them into her pack as she attempts to change the subject, “Well, it’s been fun! I gotta go—”

“Naruto.”

“Guess I’ll see ya when I see ya—”

“Naruto, answer me.”

Madara grabs her arm as she stands to leave. His glove slides against the sleeve of the black jacket he had made for her as an apology for ruining her old one. Naruto halfheartedly tries to pull out of his hold, but his grip holds strong. Without looking at him, she answers, “No.”

The rejection stings, but he has grown used to the feeling. Her reason for declining is of more interest at the moment. “Why not?”

“Just ‘cuz,” she flatly responds.

“I’m going to need more of a reason than that,” he sighs.

“Too bad ‘cuz that’s all you’re gettin,” comes her strained reply.

“If you’ve gotten other offers, I can match them,” he suggests. Madara sincerely doubts anyone would be foolish enough to challenge him, but stranger things have happened.

There’s a note of affront in her voice when she says, “I don’t want your money, ya know.”

Of course, she doesn’t. A crude shack to live in and some snacks to munch on are all she needs, apparently. The only time she ingests proper meals is when she’s at someone else’s house. Madara wants better for her, but she refuses to be “pitied.” Changing strategies, he asks, “We like each other well enough, don’t we?”

Instead of answering, she tries to tug her arm free. It isn’t necessarily a denial. “Naruto, look at me.”

“No,” she petulantly refuses. 

If she isn’t going to look at him, he’ll have to get in her way. Without letting go of her, he stands and comes around the table. He takes it as a good sign when she allows him to tip her chin upward with a finger. Once more, he tells her, “I love you. Please, marry me.”

Madara catches the haunted look on her face before she violently shakes her head in the negative and breaks away from him. She races out of the living room and down the hall. Izuna happens to run into her just as she slams the front door open. “Oh, Naruto! Are you staying for dinner?”

“No,” she denies as she darts around him and flees.

~xXx~

“Have you had any success with the Uzumaki girl?”

Madara openly glares at the elder. It's common knowledge that Naruto left Konoha. The day she rejected Madara, she went to Hashirama and told him that she was going to “finish her personal mission.” When he asked when she would be coming back, she only gave suspiciously vague answers. Four months have passed since then. They have yet to receive even a message from her. Be she dead or otherwise, most assume that she isn’t coming back.

Most of Konoha steers clear of Madara these days. His temper has shortened considerably and only those that are obligated to interact with him even look him in the eye. The Uchiha council avoids calling him to meetings unless absolutely necessary, but they have business with him specifically it would seem. Sliding a collection of documents toward him on the table, another elder carefully suggests, “We happen to have a few more bridal candidates lined up for you. Feel free to peruse their—”

He snatches the stack of booklets and snarls, “Is that all?”

“Yes, Madara-sama, that is all.”

“Dismissed,” he barks as he stands to leave. The other occupants of the room slowly get to their feet as Madara throws open the door and slams it shut behind him.


	4. To Be or Not To Be...My Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Konoha's collective fear of being crushed underneath an angsty teen's massive chakra golem finally assuaged? 
> 
> Somewhat.

Madara carelessly tosses the marriage candidate profiles onto the living room table when he gets home. He continues to ignore them throughout the evening. They mock him as he spends the night reading through a few scrolls. By the time he begins preparing for bed, he hasn’t spared the offensive stack more than sneer. They remain untouched as he blows out the lantern and slides into his futon.

Dawn is still hours away when a banging noise rouses him from his light slumber. The ruckus continues as he throws off his covers and stalks to the front door. Throwing the door open, Madara growls, “Izuna, if you forgot your key—”

Instead of a somewhat contrite little brother, Naruto stands on his doorstep. All of the rage and melancholy that plagued him ever since she left vanishes at the sight of her, but concern takes its place. The raised arm that had just been about to lay into his front door once more slowly falls back to her side as she trembles. She looks on the verge of tears, but her red eyes indicate that some weeping has already occurred. Uncertain if this is actually a very detailed dream, Madara reaches a hand out to brush the leaves and twigs out of her hair. He calls her name, “Naruto—”

The dam breaks and she wails. Madara jolts and ushers her into the house. She ensnares his midsection as he reaches past her to shut the door. He awkwardly pats her back and maneuvers her out of her sandals and into the bathroom while she sobs into his night clothes. Once he finishes removing the forest debris from her hair, he wraps his arms around her and waits for her to calm down. She hiccups, “I-it was a one-way trip.”

“What?”

“He sa—” her voice hitches, “He said I changed too much and now I can’t go home.”

Confused, he asks, “Who did? You’re already here.”

Her eyes begin to well up again as her stomach rumbles loudly. Madara hastily offers, “I’ll go make something for you to eat, okay? Take a quick bath while you wait. Do you have clean cloth—you know what? I’ll go and get you some. I’ll leave them outside the door.”

Naruto reluctantly releases her grip on his clothes as he steps out of her embrace and out of the room. His mother’s clothes would probably be too small for her. Izuna’s might fit, but Madara finds himself rifling through his own drawers. It’s extremely tempting to give her something with the Uchiha symbol stitched onto it, but Madara refrains and grabs a plain blue hippari. 

He sets it outside the bathroom door and heads to the kitchen. Well, this isn’t how he imagined he would be attempting this, but drastic times call for drastic measures.

~xXx~

“This is gross, ya know,” Naruto bluntly criticizes after just a taste. She stirs the oily concoction of noodles and sliced pork with her chopsticks before giving him a pointed look.

Madara is glad that she’s feeling better after her bath, but he doesn’t appreciate her tone. He huffs, “Well, I tried to make it solely based on the description you gave me, but if it’s so ‘gross,’ you don’t have to eat it.”

“Stay away from my ramen,” she says while swatting his hand away from the bowl.

Conflicting feelings of satisfaction and annoyance war within him as he sits back down across from her. Restraining the urge to interrogate her, he forces a casual tone as he asks, “So, what happened?”

Naruto sighs, “I guess I can just tell ya everythin’ since this is my _forever_ home now.”

By the time Naruto finishes her tale, Madara is left speechless. She shushed him whenever he tried to ask a question during, but now he can’t form a coherent response. He struggles to comprehend everything she just told him as she munches on her pork.

Naruto told him her entire life story leading up to when she time-traveled to the moment just before his life supposedly took a dark turn in her original timeline. Since Uchiha Madara eventually abandoned Konoha in her timeline, she has been doing her best to prevent the same from happening this time. Several instances suddenly have a deeper meaning. Saving Izuna and annoying him into stopping the war with the Senju before his brother could die were the more obvious countermeasures in hindsight, but showering Madara with praise whenever he wore the Konoha forehead protector was actually a bit cunning. 

The past few hours have been more enlightening than the year they have known each other. He spent months wondering why his declaration of affection was met with such a vehemently negative reception, but the reason is far worse than he could have ever imagined. Honestly, her reaction was rather tame in the grand scheme of things.

While many things have started to add up, there is much about her that still baffles him. The part about a demon fox sealed inside her is set aside for processing at another time, but after all that other Uchiha Madara did to her and her family, it’s more amazing that she didn’t just kill him in that cave where they had their reunion or take advantage of the numerous opportunities he gave her afterward. The calm tone in which she said, “You killed me, ya know,” shook him to his very core. 

If Hashirama had killed Uchiha Madara in her timeline, why hadn’t Naruto done the same when they met the “second” time? Positive memories of him had not stopped Hashirama, but she didn’t even have that excuse. 

Madara must have accidentally voiced his query aloud, because Naruto answers, “Well, I thought about how different things might’ve been if it’d been you n’ me from the start. I never heard the details about your friendship with Hashirama in the original timeline, but after gettin’ to know ya, I got the feelin’ that you and me wouldn’t’ve screwed up as badly. Well, I wouldn’t’ve let it get that bad, anyway. I definitely wouldn’t’ve killed you. Even after everything Sasuke did, it never crossed my mind to kill him.”

He refrains from voicing his opinion on his “future” clansman as Naruto slurps up some noodles. Based on the fond tone she spoke of Sasuke with, she would not appreciate what Madara has to say about him. It may be hypocritical of him, but he doesn’t appreciate being compared to someone who has tried to kill Naruto on multiple occasions. Still, Madara takes satisfaction in the fact that of all the people she could have sought comfort from, she chose him.

“Now we know that you wouldn’t have even left Konoha in the first place if Izuna hadn’t died,” Naruto says before her gaze grows intense. A lesser man might be unsettled, but it excites Madara. She carefully enunciates, “If you leave this time, me _and_ Izuna will drag you back, ya know. Hashirama, too, if he’s not crushed under an avalanche of paperwork first.” 

Madara snorts despite himself. “I see.”

“‘Course, even with Black Zetsu sealed, I’ll be keeping an eye on ya.” 

Was that a playful tone or is he just projecting? He prompts her to continue, “Oh?” 

“Yep. I’m here to stay, so I might as well stick around to make sure you don’t stray from the path.”

Madara nearly makes a remark about her sudden departure from Konoha, but refrains from ruining whatever atmosphere this is. Instead, he asks, “How long do you plan to keep that up?”

“Who knows? A lifetime, probably.”

That sounds like an awful lot like an invitation to propose. He casually suggests, “You could easily do so as my wife.”

Equally casual, she replies, “I’ll think about it.” 

While it is the most positive response she has given him thus far, it is not what he wants to hear. At his wit’s end, Madara bluntly asks, “What will it take to get you to marry me?”

Naruto shrugs. “Some dates.”

She wants exotic fruit? Perhaps, she wants the ceremony to span a few days? He asks for clarification, “Dates?”

“Think of it like a trial period. We get to know each other and see if this’ll work out in the long run.”

Does Naruto have any idea how much he already embarrassed himself for her? The woman must be toying with him at this point. He deadpans, “That sounds awfully similar to courting, which I have been doing for the better part of a year.”

Her eyes widen as a realization dawns upon her. She asks, “Is _that_ why you did all that weird stuff?”

 _Weird?_ Madara groans. Of course, all of his efforts had been for naught. However, he has already invested too much into this and he can’t give up now that she has alluded to mutual feelings. With an irritated sigh, he asks, “Fine, how do we start _dating_?”

The venom in his tone makes her laugh. “I’ll do you a favor and count this as our first date.”

“Your generosity humbles me,” he quips.

“By the way, what’s this stack of—”

Madara hurriedly grabs the marriage profiles and tosses them into the hallway. “Oh, that Izuna! Always leaving trash lying around!”

Naruto’s eyes narrow in suspicion, but she thankfully shrugs it off. Unfortunately, Madara nearly has a heart attack when his brother returns from his mission a few minutes later. The front door slides open and Izuna calls out, “Nii-san, I’m home! Ugh, what is that smell? Also, why are all of these marriage profiles on the floor?” 

He slides open the door to the living room and spots Naruto as Madara answers, “The smell is my fault, but _you_ should stop leaving _your_ marriage candidate profiles lying around, don’t you think?”

Catching his brother’s pointed look, Izuna plays along, “Oh yeah! Sorry about that! Anyway, Naruto, it’s great to see you! How long have you been back?”

~xXx~

Thus far, Madara prefers dating to courting. In contrast to the embarrassing, grandiose romantic gestures of courting, dating isn’t that different from what he and Naruto usually do together. Like him, Naruto prefers training and sparring to walking through gardens and poetry. As an added bonus, her straightforward, affectionate personality means she initiates amorous activities more often than not. However, her timing leaves much to be desired.

Rendering her hiding place behind a boulder moot, Naruto shouts over the barrage of attacks aimed at them, “Do you have a bottle of ink?!”

From behind a wide tree trunk, Madara directs an incredulous look at her before yelling back, “Focus on what we’re doing!”

Susanoo would make quick work of the shinobi pinning them if they weren’t technically trespassing on these lands. Between the necessity to keep a low profile and the sheer number of enemies, their return home from a mission in the adjacent territory has been delayed several hours and the situation seems unlikely to change anytime soon. 

It feels like a snub when Naruto immediately ends their assault by using her chakra arms to incapacitate all the enemies in the area. Madara had been wondering why she had not done that from the very beginning. When he joins her in her “hiding place,” he sees why—she was busy furiously writing the mission report. 

Madara is well aware that Naruto is afraid of Tobirama’s ire upon recieving a mission report late and his attention to detail regarding even the minutest of mistakes. Apparently, she fears them more than his own wrath. Before he can even begin his angry tirade, Naruto asks again, “Well?! Do you have a bottle of ink?!”

He snaps, “Of course not! Unlike you, I don’t procrastinate and need to carry a bottle of ink—”

“Have ya checked?!”

“I don’t need to—”

She pleads, “Pleeeeeeease, just check!”

With an annoyed huff, Madara lowers his pack off his back and squats to look for the bottle of ink that Naruto is convinced he has. The second he opens his pack, he notices something amiss. Namely, the plethora of cheap souvenirs that Naruto bought along their journey piled atop his belongings. He directs a glare at her, but all she does is flutter her eyelashes at him and smile. “It might be toward the bottom, ya know.”

When he fishes out the ink bottle, Naruto extends an arm out toward him and wiggles her fingers. Madara seriously considers crushing it in his palm. No one uses Uchiha Madara as a pack mule—not even her. Noticing his grip tighten, she lays on the charm, “You’re so strong n’ reliable! Good-looking, too! I love you so much, ya know!”

Damn her! Damn her and those blue doe-eyes of hers! Aggravated with her and himself, Madara tosses the ink bottle to her. The bright smile she directs at him does little to make him feel better, but the fact that Naruto seldom lies consoles his hurt pride.

~xXx~

Many, many dates later, Madara nearly misses the invitation. Caught up in the feeling of her hand curling around his and their fingers lacing together, he barely catches Naruto’s mumble, “…if you want.”

The uncharacteristically shy behavior doesn’t register and he asks, “What was that?”

Naruto shakily exhales before leaning away from his arm and looking up at him. “I said, ‘you can come back to my place, if you want.’”

Her blush darkens as the silence drags on. Madara allows himself a moment to bask in perseverance rewarded before pivoting on his heel and dragging Naruto in the direction of her apartment. With a laugh, she matches his eager pace. 

~xXx~

The atmosphere is charged as Naruto tugs and unwinds his belt and Madara pulls down the zipper of her jacket. The tension is effectively broken when the zipper catches on her sarashi and she swats his hands away before he “breaks it.” Madara grumbles, but takes the time to pull his long shirt over his head. Once his top has been discarded, he turns back to find her hastily unbinding her chest. Holding back a snort, Madara offers, “Allow me.”

Naruto lifts her arms with a huff, “You made the zipper happen, but you couldn’t make a bra?”

A new jacket to replace the one he destroyed was only fair, but the tailor still refuses to even look at Madara after their back and forth over what a ‘zipper’ is and how to attach it to a jacket. He would rather not repeat the experience with what sounds like women’s undergarments. “I assume it’s a kind of a sarashi?”

“Kinda. I never thought I’d miss it, ya know. It fell apart since—since you burned it with your _Katon!_ ”

The change in tone is a dead giveaway. “You’re an awful liar.”

She admits the truth with a sigh, “It fell apart since I had to wear and wash it everyday, but your _Katon_ didn’t help!”

“I can tell you the name of the tailor who made your jacket, so you can argue with her about making a ‘bra’ for you. I suggest bringing a _detailed_ sketch.”

“Is it the old lady that gives you the stink eye when you’re not lookin’?”

“Most likely,” he says with a chuckle. Finally, Madara completely unravels her chest binding. He was right—his slender mother’s clothing would not have fit Naruto. Her baggy clothes generally only give the slightest suggestion of a bosom, but her breasts overflow out of his hands when he cups them. 

The softness distracts Madara until Naruto innocently asks, “Is this it?”

“Huh? Oh, no. We haven’t even—anyway let’s finish taking off our clothes.” They progress smoothly until Naruto encounters his fundoshi. It’s immediately clear that she isn’t sure what she’s looking at, but she doesn’t let that stop her. She hooks a finger under the cloth and tries to tug it down. Madara lets her struggle with it until he can’t hold in his snort any longer. Her glare only amuses him further as he unties it. 

Just as the last scrap of clothing is discarded and Madara gets a glimpse between Naruto’s legs, her thighs clap together and she shrieks, “Are you recording this?!” Naruto immediately sits up and attempts to cover both herself and his eyes. She orders, “Deactivate your Sharingan right now!”

The excitement must have been too much. Madara argues, “Sharingan or not, I’m going to remember this since it’s the first time I’ve—”

“This is your first time, too?”

Her surprise is gratifying, but he had not meant to share that information. He grumbles, “What of it?”

“Nothin’...I’m just kinda happy, ya know.”

Something about her obvious joy embarrasses him. Eager to get the focus off of him, Madara huffs, “Turn around.”

Naruto smirks, “What? You don’t want me to see your blush?”

“More so you don’t have to worry about being _recorded_ by my Sharingan while I prepare you,” he sniffs. 

“Prepare?”

“If I don’t prepare you, it’ll hurt,” or so he was told by a particularly popular cousin. 

“There’s a way that it won’t hurt?!” 

Ah, so she has done some research as well. He replies, “Supposedly.”

“I’m game,” she says while turning her back to him and allowing him to pull her into his lap. He wets a finger in his mouth before sliding the digit in between her legs. It’s unfortunate that he can’t see her face, but he consoles himself with the knowledge that this won’t be the only time they do this. For now, he thoroughly enjoys the moans he drags out of her with his ministrations. 

Madara isn’t sure how wet or stretched she has to be to avoid hurting her, but Naruto decides that she’s prepared enough and grabs his wrist. Turning in his lap, she falls back onto her futon and drags him down on top of her. “What’s next?”

“This,” he says as he guides himself to her opening. Restraining the urge to plunge into her, Madara cautiously inches his hips forward until he’s fully sheathed inside her. Based on Naruto’s pinched expression, she wasn’t prepared enough. He releases a ragged breath beside her ear as he waits for her to adjust around him. Before long, she impatiently wriggles underneath him and demands, “Move already.”

“As you wish,” he laughs and begins a steady pace. Taking the cue when she tries to meet his thrusts, Madara lifts her hips off the futon and drags her hips further into his lap. Finally, he lets loose and thrusts with reckless abandon, much to Naruto’s approval. With both of her knees are hooked over his arms, his face is on level with her bouncing breasts and he can’t help but shove his face into them. Her laugh cuts off with a gasp when he takes one of her nipples into his mouth. 

Madara feels himself drawing closer to the edge as his rough tempo draws more and more moans from Naruto’s mouth. Suddenly, the nails raking his shoulders dig into his flesh and her back arches. Her muscles clench around him and the pressure building inside him bursts. Sated, Madara rests his weight on top of her. 

He expects Naruto to whine about him being heavy, but she drags his face up to hers and mashes their lips together. Perhaps it’s the post-coital bliss, but this kiss is much less awkward than their other attempts. The angle isn’t ideal, but at least their teeth don’t click. A tongue sneaking into his mouth startles him, but not as much as when she clenches down on him. In reply to his sharp inhale, Naruto asks, “Can we do it again?”

~xXx~

Several rounds later, Madara sags against the futon after learning a valuable lesson about Uzumaki vitality. Naruto sits upright as she complains between bites, “Who should I talk to about making birth control pills, ‘cuz this plant tastes _nasty_.”

~xXx~

On the way back from a tedious solo mission, Madara stumbles upon some bandits harassing a family. An old man shakily waves a chokutō at his attackers as his children huddle around a cart. They don’t stand a chance against about twenty bloodthirsty thieves with rudimentary chakra control. Madara appreciates the old man’s pluck and he could use the mild entertainment, so he takes care of the thugs for them.

Taijutsu is more than enough for the likes of them, but he has to form part of his Susanoo to block a couple of projectiles aimed at the civilians. Once Madara has had his fun, the bandits scurry and limp away in fear with their unconscious or wounded comrades on their backs. 

“Thank you so much,” a few voices call out from behind him just as Madara is about to hop back into the trees. He grunts in acknowledgement before a raspy voice yells, “Hold it right there, bandit scum!”

Madara easily dodges the swing of the chokutō, but the old man is surprisingly spry despite being half-blind. The blade comes back around and he smacks it out of an arthritic grasp. The old man goads, “Go on, then! Kill me! If ya got the guts!”

A middle-aged man calls out as he approaches, “Dad, stop! He’s the one who saved us!”

“What? What?” The elderly man squints at Madara’s face, “Oh! Sorry, my boy!”

“It’s no trouble,” he says and turns toward the tree-line. 

Unfortunately, the old man grasps his arm and proclaims, “Nonsense! Let us make you some food as thanks! Kenta, fire up the equipment! I’ll make it myself.”

His son enthusiastically answers, “You got it, Dad!”

This was only supposed to be a minor delay. With the favorable odds of a bored, amorous Naruto waiting for him, Madara is very eager to return to Konoha, but the old man insists. Before long, he is seated at a makeshift food stand and a steaming bowl is set in front of him. Madara pauses. Fatty slices of pork line the rim and numerous toppings sit atop thin noodles swimming in a light broth. 

The old man smirks, “Told ya it was worth the wait! Enjoy!”

Madara tempers his expectations as he lifts spoons some broth up to his mouth. He need not have bothered. The taste is as rich as the aroma. It’s so delicious that Madara can hardly believe that what he has consumed up until this very moment can be called “food.” He mostly tuned out the old man and made grunts when addressed by his family during preparation, but he asks for confirmation, “What did you say this was called?”

The old man huffs and points at the bowl, “That right there is the Masayuki special: Miso pork ramen!”

“Well, Masayuki-san, I know you don’t care for bandits—”

“Scum of the earth!”

“—so what if I told you that I know of a fortified village populated with hungry customers?”

~xXx~

Halfway through Madara’s proud announcement that he brought a ramen stand back with him, Naruto jumps him. Within seconds they’re free of their clothes and in a few minutes they’re entangled in a heated embrace. Naruto sighs into his neck, “Okay.”

“‘Okay’ what?”

“I’ll marry you,” she declares and Madara nearly drops her. Luckily, he switches his grip from her thighs to a more supportive one under her butt in time to catch her. Of course, Naruto chooses to spring this on him before they have even uncoupled and her legs are still hooked over his arms. 

Amongst a maelstrom of thoughts, the first question he thinks to ask is, “What finally convinced you?”

“Well, you’re pretty good at sex. I like your arms, too.” To illustrate her point, one of her arms edges off the shoulder it was resting atop to stroke his bicep appreciatively.

A shudder goes up his spine, but he remains focused on the life-changing conversation they’re having. “Is that all?”

“Your face isn’t half bad either, ya know,” she answers. His chuckle is cut off by a sharp inhale when she clenches around him. Naruto’s grin is devilish as she leans back to look at him. She brushes his hair aside and lets out a breathy laugh, “There’s my favorite one.”

Madara huffs, “To confirm, you’re not just saying this because I brought ramen to Konoha, are you?”

“Well, that definitely didn’t hurt your case, but I do actually love you a lot.” She squeezes his face between her hands and switches to a teasing tone, “‘Specially ‘cuz you waited for me~!”

Heat gathers in his face. “Is this really the best time to do this?!” 

“I like your flustered face, too, and yeah, it is. You’re my caption audience.”

“I think you mean ‘captive’ audience.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said.”

He must love her because he lets the lie slide with nothing more than a sigh.

~xXx~

Some might be tempted to say that Madara is being hasty having the wedding a week after Naruto agreed to marry him. Others might suppose that he wanted to give Naruto as little time as possible to change her mind. If said people exist, they wisely keep their opinions out of Madara’s earshot.

The second they’re officially married, Naruto leans toward him. He leans down so her wataboshi won't obscure her voice, but she stage-whispers, “Whoever dies first loses, ya know.”

“Not everything is a competition,” he scoffs with every intention of winning.

“Sounds like loser-talk to me. I don’t blame ya. Who would want to go up against an Uzumaki?”

Madara takes great joy in reminding her, “ _Welcome to the Uchiha clan_. Our specialty is winning.”

She retorts with feigned surprise, “It’s not spite?”

~xXx~

The entirety of Konoha and what must be half the population of Uzushio crowd the Uchiha district for the wedding reception. Madara is infinitely glad that the dais is separated from the tightly-packed, lively crowd. The clamor dies down as Izuna makes his wedding toast. All eyes are on Madara as his brother recounts pleasant memories, but tension rises in the room with Izuna’s closing statement directed at Naruto, “Nii-san was a terror to deal with while you were gone. If you ever leave him again, I will hunt you down. Congratulations!”

The bold guests nod emphatically in support, but the wary dart glances at the newlyweds. As always, Naruto effortlessly diffuses the tension with a scoff, “Just try n’ shake me off.”

The attendees laugh and breathe a sigh of relief when Madara’s hackles settle down. Satisfied with her answer, Izuna heads back to his seat. Thankfully, the rest of the party continues without a hitch and only minimal complaining from Naruto. Once they have seen off the last of their guests, Madara stands and extends a hand out to Naruto. “Are you ready to go home?”

She grasps his wrist instead and uses it to lever herself up. “Yes! I’ve been wantin’ to take this off since I put it on, ya know!”

Madara can only imagine how cumbersome a shiromuku or an uchikake are to put on—let alone wear for extended amounts of time—but he is glad that he recorded Naruto’s wedding kimono-clad image for all time with his Sharingan. She has mentioned a device that is capable of something similar in the future, but he doubts it's as convenient or efficient. He replies, “Rest assured, you’ll never have to wear it again.”

“Best thing I’ve heard all day.”

“Not the ‘best’ thing you’ve heard today,” Madara sniffs.

“That’s true. That noise Tobirama made when Izuna ‘accidentally’ dumped a plate of food into his lap was pretty awesome.” At Madara’s scowl, she adds with a laugh, “‘Welcome to the Uchiha clan’ was pretty great, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a lot of research for this chapter (though it may not seem it), and let me tell you: Japanese weddings are an EVENT. I got tired just reading how many times the bride changes costumes and how jam-packed the schedule of the big day is. Thankfully, traditionalist Madara and "what are we eating at the after-party tho" Naruto probably wouldn't go that far.
> 
> Anywho, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Especially from my fellow members of the MPS (Madara Protection Squad).


	5. Silver Lining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto had quite a bit of time to think while she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was working on the next installment in the series, but I decided to revisit this and clear some things up due to some thoughtful commentary. It took me a while since I find writing in Naruto's point of view difficult. The dang thing refusing to end didn't help matters, either.
> 
> The next installment is looking like mostly Naruto POV, too, but I'm chugging along with it.

It’s finally over. 

Naruto might have taken a tad too much joy in sealing the black mark on the history of the shinobi world, but she figures that she’s due a little satisfaction after three months of tireless searching. Now, she can go back to a home without that pesky shadow hanging over them. 

She can’t wait to get back to her friends in her own Konoha—what a story she’ll have to tell them!

When nothing happens within a few minutes, Naruto assumes that Super Gramps is just busy. He seems to spend most of his time just floating in the land between life and death, but maybe he has things to do. Naruto doggedly chased Black Zetsu for several days straight, so she could use a break, anyway. 

~xXx~

Kurama stops encouraging Naruto’s talk of returning home after a week passes, but she cuts Super Gramps some slack. He’s pretty old, so maybe he forgot or maybe he can’t find her. She has been camping among the debris she left in her wake to make it easier for Super Gramps to find her, but maybe he thinks she already went back to this era’s Konoha since she spent so much time there.

It’s for the best that she left. Hanging around Madara wasn’t bringing her any closer to Black Zetsu. He was only confusing her and distracting her from her mission. Initially, Naruto assumed that Black Zetsu would eventually start sniffing around Madara like it did in her timeline, but it never showed up. Naruto would have known if it did since she spent so much time with him. Even though she knew it wasn’t coming around, she stayed longer than was necessary. She’s going to miss—

_I love you._

She’s going to miss _everyone_ here. Most of them are more traditional than she would like, but time-traveling turned out to be less lonely than Super Gramps had made it sound. It was frustrating that she couldn’t tell them everything, yes, but she enjoyed getting to know people she would never meet otherwise. 

Meeting her mom’s clansmen had been particularly wonderful, if difficult. She tried to resist the cruel bait dangling in front of her that would only be snatched away once she got comfortable, but living, breathing blood relations’ genuine interest in her called to Naruto like a siren song. So, she let herself enjoy the familial bonding and feeling of belonging she had always wanted; the knowledge that it was a fleeting moment and they would all be long dead in her era adding a bittersweet edge to their kinship. 

Naruto had envied her mom’s hair before, but never so much as when she was among the Uzumaki. Despite the stark contrast between her appearance and theirs, they were so warm and welcoming. Ramen was as foreign to them as everyone else in this era, but they told her about the food they have in Uzushiogakure and about the island itself. Their words painted a picture so vivid that Naruto desperately wanted to visit, but she knew it would cause more harm than good. However, she couldn’t resist advising them to beef up their defenses in Uzushio. Unfortunately, she never paid attention in history class during her academy days, so she couldn’t tell them what to expect or when. It ended up not mattering because they brushed off her vague warning with the simple explanation that their safeguards were impregnable. Oh, how she had wanted to believe them. 

Mito’s visit home was coming up when she left Konoha. Naruto wonders if Jii-chan and her cousins asked about her. She likes to think that they did.

~xXx~

The second week passes agonizingly slow. Building a makeshift shelter occupies her time for a few days, but Naruto eventually gets the collection of leaves and sticks to stay put. Playing tic-tac-toe in the dirt with a shadow clone grows old after the forty-ninth game. Surprisingly, not even training can dispel this torturous boredom. By the time the third week starts, Kurama doesn’t know what to say when she asks where Super Gramps is and naps most of the time away.

Naruto listlessly doodles in the dirt with a stick when Madara’s last words to her take her by surprise for the millionth time. The stick figure she had been drawing just so happened to have long, wild hair and that was all the invitation her stupid brain needed, apparently.

_I love you._

An alternate version of the jerk that haunts her nightmares was the first person to tell her those words. How unfair is that? The worst part is that she was actually happy for the slightest second before she remembered just who she was dealing with. 

In the beginning, all Naruto saw when she looked at him was that crazy Edo Tensei, but she allowed herself to grow complacent as she learned more about him. Instead of the self-righteous puppet master she loathed and expected, Madara was just a boy that sincerely wanted the best for those close to him. He was still domineering and stubborn as a mule, but it was clear that he cared; about his brother, about the Uchiha, and even Konoha. Her, too, supposedly.

_I love you._

Naruto hadn’t meant to grow close to him. She only stuck to him to convince him that war was not the way. It just so happened that they were pretty friendly by the time she shifted objectives to guarding him from Black Zetsu—that probably should have tipped her off that something was amiss. This Madara may be kinder, but he still keeps to himself more often than not. Expanding his minuscule social circle doesn’t interest him in the slightest. 

There were probably a few warning signs leading up to him asking her to _marry_ him—not that she would know what they were. Peeks at teen magazines and Icha Icha Paradise over the years didn’t prepare her for that at all. As soon as the fleeting happiness at his words dissipated, the shock took her right back to her final moments on the battlefield. Suddenly, inky eyes morphed into ringed purple and black hair bleached. All Naruto wanted to do was get away from him. Then…

_I love you._

It was only for a second, but she saw that her horrified reaction wounded him. Then, he smoothed all emotion out of his expression and let her go. Naruto hadn’t known how to deal with the conflicting emotions: fear of what she once knew him as and guilt that she cut her friend so deeply. She thought she had accepted that this Madara was different, but obviously not.

A part of her wants to go back and apologize, but that would only make it worse when she goes back to her time period. He doesn’t have that weird tree anymore, but spite might keep him going long enough for them to meet again. She’ll apologize then. The thought doesn’t make her feel better, but it’s something.

~xXx~

The Sage of the Six Paths finally appears at the start of the fourth week. Once they’re in the in-between world, he relays the worst possible news, “There is no ‘future’ for you to go back to.”

Naruto doesn’t understand. Her tone borders on hysterical, but she feels justified. “What? I did all this so me n’ my friends could have a better future, ya know!”

“You changed too much. The timeline you came from no longer exists,” he calmly replies.

“You never said that could happen!”

“I assumed you knew based on how you generally avoided interfering. That said, your main objective influenced how major events in this era unfolded. Without Black Zetsu at the helm, the course of history is free to veer into uncharted waters. Unfortunately, it seems to be heading in a direction away from the reality you came from.”

For the first time, Naruto is speechless. She stares blankly ahead as Hagoromo carries on the conversation by himself, “Though it comes at a great personal sacrifice, take pride in the knowledge that your efforts will benefit not only the people in this era, but every generation of mankind that follows.”

She doesn’t want pride. She wants to _go home._

“It may not feel like it now, but perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Without a perceived future to protect, you’re free to do as you like in this era. You could create something similar to what you left behind—something better.”

Naruto knows that he’s trying to comfort her, but she wasn’t prepared for this revelation. In hindsight, she probably should have been. Too focused on the “minor” ripples her presence could cause, she completely overlooked the roaring tsunami she reduced to a gentle wave. Mere words can’t convey her devastation.

With his full message received, Hagoromo accepts that no amount of words will allay her despair and takes his leave. Angry tears roll down her cheeks as the scenery she is so very tired of looking at fades back into view. A hitch of breath. A sniffle. Finally, she shouts her anguish to the forest clearing she created on her foolish crusade.

It’s not fair. It’s not _fair._ **IT’S NOT FAIR.**

The nearest village is a day’s run away. No one is around to see her fall to her knees or hear her scream at the top of her lungs. Naruto wishes there was. She wants someone to tell her that it was just a cruel joke; that she didn’t screw up and jeopardize her friends’ very existence instead of better them. Even if they are born and she lives long enough to see them, they won’t recognize her. She’ll be a stranger to them.

Kurama chooses to reluctantly chime in after that miserable thought. _There are people that_ **_will_ ** _recognize you here._

Naruto wheezes as she considers his words. He’s right. She scrubs her face with her sleeve as she wobbles to her feet. The first few steps are shaky, but she soon breaks into a run. She is all too happy to leave that camp behind as she speeds back to Konoha—the only one she has left.

~xXx~

The journey to Konoha should normally have taken about five days, but Naruto completes it in three without stopping to eat or sleep. The chakra boost Kurama gave her begins to wear thin as she enters the village gates. She waves in greeting at the gaping guards while she passes them by.

Skidding to a stop in front of Madara’s door, Naruto lays into it. It’s the middle of the night, but her apology can’t wait until morning. When no one answers, she begins to worry that both he and Izuna are out on missions. The sound of stomping approaching the door is both a relief and a source of panic. What if he’s still mad at her? What if he won’t forgive her? Maybe she isn’t ready to do this after all—

Madara throws open the door and growls, “Izuna, if you forgot your key—”

He stops mid-sentence as the frustrated knit of his brow smooths out into shock. The bags under his eyes look a bit deeper and he seems a little thinner than she remembers, but he’s still the same cranky Madara she knows—her friend. Maybe it’s too early in the morning for him to care that he’s being so open, but the naked concern in his eyes is a comfort. Madara still recognizes her. He still cares about her. Between the exhaustion and the disbelieving way he calls her name, Naruto breaks down a second time. 

Well, she has utterly bungled this apology if it starts off with _him_ comforting _her._

~xXx~

Madara’s attempt at ramen is certainly better than anything Naruto has ever concocted in the kitchen, but she can’t resist pushing his buttons. Faux-serious, she bluntly states, “This is gross, ya know.”

“Well, I tried to make it solely based on the description you gave me, but if it’s so ‘gross,’ you don’t have to eat it,” he huffs and reaches for her bowl.

Her face twitches as a grin fights to emerge. She smacks his hand away and tries to keep the mirth out of her tone, “Stay away from my ramen.”

Naruto catches the pleased upturn at the corner of Madara’s mouth as he sits back down across from her. He clearly wants to interrogate her, but he looks like he’s going to strain something as he forces a casual tone for his question. “So, what happened?”

“I guess I can just tell ya everything since this is my _forever_ home now,” she sighs. Sakura would hit her over the head for it, but a bit of the truth leaked out already and Naruto knows Madara won’t let even those scraps of information go. Besides, she has been dying to tell someone the whole truth for ages and it might as well be him. It’s kinda his fault, anyhow.

~xXx~

It takes hours to recount everything. Naruto doesn’t skimp on any details because she knows Madara wouldn’t appreciate it if she held anything back. She also apologizes for her reaction to his proposal and sudden departure from the village, but she doubts he’ll let that one go even with her explanation.

Her ramen is pretty cold by the time she finishes her narrative, but she uses the ensuing silence to make some progress on her meal. Madara sits still as a statue as he tries to form a response. Naruto trusts that he won’t abuse the information and descend into darkness again because he isn’t as broken as the Uchiha Madara from her timeline, but also because she won’t _let_ him go down that lonely path. 

A realization dawns upon Naruto. Her main concern used to be protecting Konoha, but it shifted to...Madara’s well-being. She cares about him. A lot. So much so that she ran all the way back to Konoha to see him.

Just as she is coming to terms with her feelings, Madara breaks the silence, “If Hashirama killed Uchiha Madara in your timeline, why didn’t you when we met the ‘second’ time? Positive memories didn’t stop him, but you didn’t even have that excuse.”

Hopefully, she’ll remember to ask him why he said “second'' instead of “first,” but the answer to his question is an easy one. She didn’t really think about it at the time, but she has thought about it quite a bit since their last encounter. “Well, I thought about how different things might’ve been if it’d been you n’ me from the start. I never heard the details about your friendship with Hashirama in the original timeline, but after gettin’ to know ya, I got the feelin’ that you and me wouldn’t’ve screwed up as badly. Well, I wouldn’t’ve let it get that bad, anyway. I definitely wouldn’t’ve killed you. Even after everything Sasuke did, it never even crossed my mind to kill him.”

Naruto slurps up the last few noodles before continuing, “Now we know that you wouldn’t have even left Konoha in the first place if Izuna hadn’t died.” She makes eye-contact as she carefully enunciates, “If you leave this time, me _and_ Izuna will drag you back, ya know. Hashirama, too, if he’s not crushed under an avalanche of paperwork first.”

All Madara has to say in response to her passionate speech is a measly snort. “I see.”

Well, he’s handling it pretty well considering all she told him. She reminds him, “‘Course, even with Black Zetsu sealed, I’ll be keeping an eye on ya.” 

“Oh?” 

Maybe she’s imagining things, but he sounded pretty hopeful just now. She answers, “Yep. I’m here to stay, so I might as well stick around to make sure you don’t stray from the path.”

“How long do you plan to keep that up?”

“Who knows? A lifetime, probably,” Naruto replies. It feels like they’re leading up to something. It’s kinda exciting.

Madara confirms her suspicion with a casual suggestion. “You could easily do so as my wife.”

“I’ll think about it,” she replies in a hopefully equally casual tone. It’s a relief that he still loves her and it isn’t like she’s particularly opposed to the idea, but she never thought that far ahead—even in her own timeline. 

Exasperated, Madara bluntly asks, “What will it take to get you to marry me?”

“Some dates,” she answers with a shrug. Between prioritizing her goals and a lack of interested parties, Naruto has never even been on a date before, but she knows that you’re supposed to go on a few before getting married. 

He doesn’t bother hiding his confusion. “Dates?”

“Think of it like a trial period. We get to know each other and see if this’ll work out in the long run,” Naruto explains with far more confidence than she has in the accuracy of her answer. There’s only a few decades or something in between time periods. Shouldn’t there be something similar in this era?

Madara deadpans, “That sounds awfully similar to courting, which I have been doing for the better part of a year.”

Oh. OH. “Is _that_ why you did all that weird stuff?”

Based on his answering groan, that was the wrong thing to say. He sighs in irritation and hisses, “Fine, how do we start _dating?_ ”

“I’ll do you a favor and count this as our first date,” she laughs.

“Your generosity humbles me,” Madara replies in a dry tone, but he’s clearly mollified for the moment.

With all of that unpleasantness out of the way, Naruto finally asks about the obtrusive stack of booklets on the living room table. “By the way, what’s this stack of—”

Before she even finishes the question, Madara has gathered them and dumped them into the hallway. “Oh, that Izuna! Always leaving trash lying around!”

Her eyes narrow. Izuna and Madara are normally neat freaks, but...who knows what could have happened in the time she was gone. It’s not like she told them she was coming over, either. She shrugs it off. 

Unknown to her, Madara relaxes when she doesn’t challenge his lie. He settles back in his seat, but perks up again when Izuna returns home a few minutes later. “Nii-san, I’m home! Ugh, what is that smell? Also, why are all of these marriage profiles on the floor?” 

Izuna slides open the door to the living room and spots her as Madara answers, “The smell is my fault, but _you_ should stop leaving _your_ marriage candidate profiles lying around, don’t you think?”

Before Naruto can call Madara out on his strange tone, his brother responds, “Oh yeah! Sorry about that! Anyway, Naruto, it’s great to see you! How long have you been back?”

“I just got back today, ya know! What did I miss?”

~xXx~

Naruto has never been a stranger to the Uchiha compound, but these days she spends most of her off-time there. A gentle breeze blows through the open door as she and Madara cool down in his living room after a morning of intense training. Perhaps it’s Naruto’s pathological need to break any silence she comes upon, but something about the domesticity of Madara sitting at the table while he reads a scroll and she eats his snacks fills her with the intense urge to tell him her true feelings. 

Madara doesn’t move as she sits up from her supine position on the tatami. She considers him as he continues to mind his own business. It’s her turn to blindside him. “Hey, Madara?”

He makes a distracted noise of acknowledgement. 

Perfect. He’ll never see it coming. The words are surprisingly difficult to say, but they feel right once she gets them out into the open. “I love you.”

A moment of silence passes as he looks up from the scroll and into her eyes. It takes him another moment to process exactly what she said, but his reaction is well worth the wait. A blush crawls up his neck as his mouth works around a series of aborted words. Quite enjoying the show, Naruto decides to add some fuel to the fire and says it again, louder. “I love you!”

It was easier to say the second time. Maybe it’ll get easier every time. To test the theory, Naruto repeats, “I love you! I love you! I love you so much, ya know!!”

Madara looks like he’s about to explode in embarrassment or frustration; possibly both. He may have beat her to the punch, but Naruto has round two in the bag. She smirks as he rushes to slam the door leading to the outside shut. He hisses, “Keep your voice down!”

“Nah, I feel like I should shout it to the entire village,” she playfully argues as she pretends to make her way toward the front door. Within the span of a blink, Madara has crossed the room and is bodily impeding her path to the hallway.

“Don’t you dare!”

Naruto hums, “Aren’tcha happy that I love you back?”

Not trusting himself to talk, he nods.

“And everyone already knows that we’re together, right?”

Another nod.

“Then, they’ll be happy for us when I tell the entire village how much I love you, right?”

“Absolutely not!”

“Well, I guess an audience of you will do,” she pretends to sigh before jumping at him. Reliable as always, Madara catches her. He realizes that he’s trapped in her embrace as she relentlessly chants into his ear, “I love you! I love you! I love you!”

Attempts to pry her off prove fruitless as she fiercely clings to him. Unable to escape her barrage of affection, Madara lowers them to the floor. At the very least, she won’t have far to fall when he finally melts into a puddle of shame and satisfaction. Far from done with him, Naruto asks, “Do you feel loved?”

Once again, he nods.

“Good. You’re gonna be hearin’ how much I love you regularly from now on.” Despite the answering strangled noise, Madara relaxes into her hold. Reading the room has never been Naruto’s specialty, but she figures that now is as good a time as any to mash her face against his. His cheeks are still pretty warm, but he returns the gesture with equal ferocity. Maybe that’s why it feels completely different from her accidental lip lock with Sasuke. 

She’s not really sure what to do, but Madara seems to know, so she follows his lead. When he tilts his head, she does the same. When a hand threads through her hair and grasps the back of her neck, she digs a hand into his dark locks. Unfortunately, the sound of the front door sliding open prompts Madara to tense and spring away from her just as they were getting the hang of it.By the time the door to the living room slides open, they’re back in the positions they were in before Naruto decided to shake things up. Izuna pauses before a smile settles on his face. “Nii-san, Naruto.”

Madara grunts without looking up from the scroll. Naruto returns the greeting, “Hiya.”

Izuna settles in the seat at the table adjacent to them both and innocently asks, “What have you two been up to?”

“Nothin’ much,” Naruto responds while reaching down to get the bag of snacks on the floor. She completely misses the devious smirk Izuna directs at his brother and the vicious glare he receives in turn.

Innocent smile back in place, he asks, “Really? Your hair looks a bit...tousled.”

“We were training this morning,” comes Madara’s hissed explanation. She can’t see the state of her hair, but Madara’s looks as wild as always. Then again, Izuna grew up with him and he’s the type to notice even a strand of hair out of place.

Izuna nods as he directs his attention to Madara. He hums, “Did you finish reading that scroll, yet?”

“Almost.”

“You’re usually a fast reader, so I’m surprised you’re not done with it.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Busy with what? Or maybe it was a _who?_ ”

Madara blanches. “Izuna.”

Amused snorts break up Izuna’s serious tone. “I hope...you crazy kids...are being responsible.” 

“ _Izuna._ ”

He stands from the table and makes his way toward the door. “Don’t get too excited, I’m just going to get a drink. I’ll be back before you can get _too busy~_ ”

Izuna darts into the hallway and barely manages to dodge the scroll Madara throws. It bounces off the door across the hall as Izuna’s snickers grow faint.

Oh, wonderful. Now her face feels as warm as Madara’s looks.

~xXx~

A week of Izuna’s relentless teasing prompts Naruto to invite Madara to her apartment. Not only does it promise a lack of interruptions, but he immediately picks up on the implied secondary invitation like Mito said he would. Nothing else goes as described, but Naruto enjoys herself nonetheless.

Once they get past the initial discomfort of joining together, she begins to understand why people make such a big deal out of sex. As a naturally tactile person, Naruto fully embraces what boils down to the most intimate hug. The pleasure is a nice bonus, too. 

Like everything they do together, it turns into a competition. Madara puts up a decent fight as usual, but the taste of victory is sweet as he lay boneless on her futon. His drooping eyelids denote his exhaustion, but he does his best to grunt when appropriate as Naruto complains about this era’s birth control. At the sound of soft snoring, she rolls him over and pulls the covers over them both. He’ll be testy about losing in the morning, but that’s what rematches are for.

~xXx~

It’s not unusual for Madara to strut into a room, but he usually hides his excitement better. Naruto thought he would be in a bad mood since his mission clearly ran long if he’s back a day later than planned, but the proud smirk on his face would suggest otherwise. Thus, he has her full attention when he announces, “Konoha’s first ramen stand will be open for business by the end of the week. I _encouraged_ the clerk in charge of issuing business licenses to speed the process along—”

Naruto decides that the rest of his news can wait until after she shows her appreciation for one of the best gifts she has ever received. No, this is the best. With that thought in mind, she tackles him. In the heat of the moment, she decides now is as good a time as any. “Okay.”

Confused, Madara asks, “‘Okay’ what?”

“I’ll marry you,” she clarifies and has to hold in a snort when the support underneath her legs suddenly falters. It would have been less funny if she actually fell, but she must have really surprised him.

Once he readjusts his grip, he asks, “What finally convinced you?”

Never one to miss an opportunity to frazzle him and fairly certain that he won’t drop her, Naruto spares a hand to stroke his bicep as she answers, “Well, you’re pretty good at sex. I like your arms, too.” 

Disregarding his shudder, he pushes, “Is that all?”

“Your face isn’t half bad either, ya know,” she answers and purposefully clenches her muscles around him. Leaning back to look at him, she brushes his hair aside and laughs, “There’s my favorite one.”

Determined to get a serious answer, Madara huffs, “To confirm, you’re not just saying this because I brought ramen to Konoha, are you?”

“Well, that definitely didn’t hurt your case, but I do actually love you a lot,” Naruto relents before squeezing his face between her hands and teasing, “‘Specially ‘cuz you waited for me~!”

“Is this really the best time to do this?!” 

He changed the subject like he always does when he’s embarrassed, but she’s not done with him just yet. “I like your flustered face, too, and yeah, it is. You’re my caption audience.”

“I think you mean ‘captive’ audience,” Madara corrects.

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” she lies. Surprisingly, he just sighs and lets it go. He must be pleased if he doesn’t start an argument like he usually would.

~xXx~

In Naruto’s academy days, the girls always gushed over boys—mostly Sasuke—and how extravagant they wanted their wedding to be. Those conversations didn’t interest her then and still don't even when they're about _her_ wedding. In truth, planning a wedding is a whole lot of boring work that people expect her to get excited about. She was relieved that Madara wanted to get it out of the way as soon as possible until everyone else spent the entire week’s notice they were given stressing out. 

The only part she cares about is what they’re going to eat at the party afterwards, but everyone insists upon fussing over things like venues and seating arrangements. Luckily, Uchiha tradition dictates that the couple wear the ceremonial robes passed down through the family, so Naruto is spared the work of choosing her wardrobe, but that doesn’t save her from being interrogated about the _specific_ kind of entertainment she wants at the after-party as the clan tailor takes measurements for altering the family shiromuku and uchikake.

Somehow, Naruto and Madara make it to the end of the week. When they finally get through all the ceremonial nonsense and they’re legally bound together, they’re both exhausted. She highly doubts that he had as rough a week as she did, but he probably isn’t looking forward to entertaining their massive wedding party for the rest of the day. Thus, she decides to distract him, “Whoever dies first loses, ya know.”

“Not everything is a competition,” he scoffs unconvincingly.

“Sounds like loser-talk to me. I don’t blame ya. Who would want to go up against an Uzumaki?”

A grin stretches across his face as he reminds her, “ _Welcome to the Uchiha clan._ Our specialty is winning.”

Satisfied that he’s looking more lively, Naruto retorts with feigned surprise, “It’s not spite?”

~xXx~

Naruto likes parties, but it’s a relief when they finally arrive back at his— _their_ house. A box containing her meagre belongings sits in the entryway, but it goes ignored in favor of starting the arduous disrobing process. She restrains the urge to tear a hole in the uchikake and climb out, but only just. With Madara’s help, the kimono is neatly packed into a box and stored until it’s needed again.

Finally free, Naruto gladly plucks out all of the pins holding her hair on top of her head and smears her makeup off onto her arm. Tossing off the final layer, she marches into the bathroom. An amused snort sounds from behind her, but she couldn’t care less. When the sound of Madara’s footsteps don’t follow after her, she calls, “The real fun starts now, ya know! Bathroom—be there or be square!”

Confident that he’ll be along shortly, she plops onto a stool and starts washing her hair. By the time she rinses her hair out, Madara is sitting beside her. While he’s occupied with washing his mane, Naruto takes the opportunity to check him out. Seeing him naked is nothing new, but she realizes that she’s never gotten a _good look_ at his crotch. 

His equipment is inherently strange-looking since it’s different from hers, so the comment on the tip of her tongue slips out, “Nutsacks are weird.”

It’s unclear whether he’s ignoring the comment or genuinely didn’t hear her over the sound of the water running, but she garners his full attention when she pokes it. Immediately, he jumps away and directs an accusatory look at her. Madara probably wasn’t aiming to make her laugh, but he reminds her of a drenched, disgruntled cat with his wet bangs plastered to his face and the rest of his hair hanging down limply. “It’s pretty sensitive, huh?”

Unamused, he hisses, “ _Yes._ ”

“Sorry, sorry,” Naruto apologizes while patting the stool he vacated. Warily, he approaches as she turns to finish washing up. She finishes first and hops in the tub, but she lets him finish scrubbing himself and climb into the tub in peace before continuing her line of questioning. “So, how sensitive is it?”

Adjusting his legs so she can’t blatantly stare at his junk beneath the water, Madara answers with no small amount of suspicion, “Sensitive enough that your sudden interest is extremely concerning.”

“Aw, come on! I can be careful!” She pouts when all he does is send a dubious look her way. Gesturing to the apex of her thighs, she accuses, “You touched me here, but I can’t touch you?”

“This and that are different.”

“How?!”

“They just are.”

“But how?!” 

“Just accept it and move on.”

“You know I won’t.”

Madara doesn’t respond. Changing her approach, Naruto wheedles, “You made me feel good and I wanna do that for you, but I can’t learn if you won’t let me, ya know.”

The silence drags on long enough that she considers trying again, but he finally exhales through his nose and shifts his legs. Looking off to the side, he orders, “No poking.”

She agrees to his terms with a grin, “Yessir!”

Taking great care not to accidentally scratch him, Naruto thoroughly inspects him. At first, he barely reacts, but the frequency of Madara’s twitches and squirms increase as she skims and prods his scrotum. His voice is strained as he says, “Not just there!”

“Where else?”

It takes him a while to answer her, but she probably isn’t helping matters by tracing a circle into his sensitive skin. “My...dick.”

Sliding a finger up his shaft and grasping him, she asks, “Is this sensitive, too?”

“No...be rougher,” Madara exhales while gripping the rim of the tub. Tightening her grip and sliding a thumb over his glans, Naruto watches as his eyes slide shut and he shudders. Once she lifts her thumb, his seed floats to the surface of the water. 

Patting herself on the back for a job well done, she stands. He’s a bit winded, but he allows her to pull him up and out of the tub. Dragging him to his— _their_ room, she declares, “My turn! Or both of our turns, if you’re feelin' _up_ to it.”

“You’re on.”

~xXx~

Under her strict endurance training, Madara is steadily gaining stamina. Instead of being reduced to a zombie once she’s done wringing him out, he’s now capable of dragging himself under the covers and semi-coherent conversation. Partially to gauge how awake he is, but mostly just to tease him, Naruto says, “If ya got me a ramen stand for an engagement/wedding present, I can’t wait to see what my anniversary gift is gonna be!”

An anguished groan muffled by a pillow is all the answer she gets and all she needs.


End file.
